You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
