PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
