There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize