So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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