I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
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