i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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