pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
