I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
In other news, I just burned my penis
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
