his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
