Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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