spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
My life is pants optional.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
