was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
