What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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