He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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