The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
