That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
