and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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