She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
