Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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