that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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