i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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