boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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