It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
