So drunk, too bad you don't want this
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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