How'd it feel making her break her religion?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
