Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
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