THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
