You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
