she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
It's never too late to be topless.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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