New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
