Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize