so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize