New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
