Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
one might say we're banned from that church
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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