1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize
