your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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