I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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