plz talk dirty to me
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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