It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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