mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
