I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
