After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
