Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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