I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
