$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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