i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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