pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You made out with two different species that night
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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