You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
