i love accidental penises.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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