Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
