Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
