He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
