Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
