Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
