I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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