Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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